If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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