I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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