So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize