then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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