just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
