You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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