Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
