How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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