He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
