Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize