better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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