Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
