There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
