new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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