I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is Oprah even human
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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