dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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