bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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