you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize