I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
