hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
