is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Pooping to opera.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
