she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
