I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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