I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
