We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize