If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
