It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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