They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
