Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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