margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
