went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
