so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
