didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
