I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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