We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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