he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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