You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
