Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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