Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
