Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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