I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
