Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
