Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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