I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Randomize