Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize