I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
