my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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