I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
