no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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