I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
