There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
