i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
