So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
