I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Boobs speak an international language.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
