i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
