What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
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currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
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Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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